Guilt has been defined as an unpleasant knowledge that something wrong has been done and it involves fear of punishment, shame, regret, remorse; it involves a feeling of low self-esteem or inferiority, depression and anxiety. Many of God’s people are being led by guilt in their lives. Many of God’s people are saying ‘Yes’ to things when they should be saying ‘No’ and the reason why is guilt.

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God Says ‘NO’ To Wrong Outward Conduct

• God likes the word ‘No’ and uses it often.

Ephesians 4:25 (KJV)
25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

• God  said ‘No’ to fornication and lust

1 Thessalonians 4:3 (KJV)
3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

• No is a good word. You can use it to stay straight with heaven.
• God  said ‘No’ to stealing and anger.

Ephesians 4:26–28 (KJV)
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27 Neither give place to the devil. 28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.

• God  said ‘No to cursing.

Ephesians 4:29 (KJV)
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

God says ‘No’ to Spiritual ‘Inside’ Sins and Attitudes

• He also says ‘No’ to wrong inward conduct, to wrong motives, evil thoughts, inside murmurings and complaints.
• God says ‘NO’ to strife.
  • Strife is especially problematic as engaging in it opens the door to demons.

2 Timothy 2:23–26 (KJV)
23 But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes. 24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, 25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; 26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

• God says ‘No’ to Pride
  • God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble.

James 4:6 (KJV)
6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

• As we can see God uses this word ‘No’ a great amount of times and He doesn’t feel guilty about it. The issue is one of what is the right thing to do at the moment as opposed to what one feels at the moment.
• Be led by the righteous standard of God and the wisdom of God instead of your internal desire to have people like who you are.

What about ‘Wrong Plans’?

• God says ‘NO’ to them also.
• God said a big ‘No’ to Saul’s plan.

1 Samuel 15:22 (KJV)
22 And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, As in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to hearken than the fat of rams.

• God told him NO – and said to obey is better than to sacrifice and to hearken then the fat of rams.
• In the ministry of Paul, this incident in Acts 16:6-7 shows God’s input into Paul’s thinking.

Acts 16:6–7 (KJV)
6 Now when they had gone throughout Phrygia and the region of Galatia, and were forbidden of the Holy Ghost to preach the word in Asia, 7 After they were come to Mysia, they assayed to go into Bithynia: but the Spirit suffered them not.

• They wanted to go to Bithynia and the Holy Ghost said ‘NO’.
• God has something to say about your life. He has some input on where you should go and what you should be doing with your life on planet earth. It is best to get God’s plan. It is best to get God’s ‘Yes’.

So, we are walking with a God who is very comfortable with the word ‘No’. So, why do we have such a problem with that word? Where did all this guilt associated with using that word come from?

Guilt Comes From: Broken Law & Expectations

• The average Israelite knew a lot about guilt.

Hebrews 10:2 (KJV)
2 For then would they not have ceased to be offered? because that the worshippers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins.

• Guilt comes from broken law.

Guilt Comes From Others Expectations

• People can be very free with their opinions and expectations.
• Sometimes people say yes when they should say no simply because they don’t want to feel guilty of not meeting others expectations.
• But, understand this about human behavior, people will take the easiest way out. And if you are the easiest way out and you say ‘yes’, when you should have said ‘no’, then you are the one that is stuck.
• If you get stuck enough times, you’ll end up overloaded.
• And when you overload, your body breaks down under the stress.
• And all of this can be avoided simply if you will imitate God and use the word NO!

How To Avoid Overload

• Recognize who or what is leading you to do what you do.
• Jesus jumped all over the Pharisees because tradition was leading them instead of the Word of God.
• Many times we experience overload. We get so busy in ‘doing’ of our lives.
• But sometimes we are so busy because we haven’t learned to prioritize our life according to God’s standards or God’s will for our life.
• We haven’t followed God’s particular plan for the seasons of our lives.
• We said ‘yes’ to things, maybe even good things that people asked us to do.
• And we got overloaded. We experienced stress and burn out. Why? because we should have said ‘no’ to things and lived our life according to our essential purpose.
• If your so busy that you don’t have time for God, you don’t have time to read your Bible, you don’t have time for church – you don’t have time to obey the Lord Jesus Christ who said ‘Seek ye first the kingdom’ mark it down you are doing a bunch of things that God did not tell you to do. And something other than God is leading you.

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage – pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically – to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside. – Stephen Covey

• God will not lead you into the stress and the guilt of overload.

Matthew 11:28–30 (KJV)
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

• The yoke of Jesus is light and easy.

Call to Action:

We are supposed to be led by the Spirit of God in our lives. We are supposed to be led by integrity, by the righteous standards of heaven. We are to be led by the Word. Never are we to be moved and led by guilt. It takes a decision and it’s up to you to make it.

Episode Resources

You can find more information on this subject by clicking on these links.

1. How to Say No without Feeling Guilty

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Question: Parents are often caught in the ‘yes’ trap saying yes to things concerning their children when they should be saying ‘no’? Do you find this to be true? If so, would you please share an incident where you had had to say ‘no’ and by doing so, transformed your child’s life. Please leave your thoughts in the comments section below.