The Holy Spirit lives within every born-again believer—but did you know He can be grieved by the way we live and speak? In this study from Ephesians 4 and 1 John 2, discover what it means to grieve the Holy Spirit, why corrupt communication is so dangerous, and how the anointing within you teaches you to walk in light, love, and truth. Learn the difference between grieving and quenching the Spirit, the ten forms of corrupt speech that pollute the atmosphere around God’s presence, and the five forms of holy speech that build people up through truth, edification, kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. Hell’s language tears down—Heaven’s language builds up—and the Holy Spirit wants your words filled with light, grace, and life. How to Stop Grieving the Holy Spirit Through Your Words, that’s our focus on this week’s Light on Life.

This Week: This week, ask the Holy Spirit to help you remove corrupt speech and fill your mouth with words that build life, grace, truth, and love.

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Accept the Challenge

Each week’s podcast contains a call to action. The Word of God will not produce in your life unless you put into operation.
This weeks call is:

Speak Life Every Day

This week, ask the Holy Spirit to help you become aware of every word that comes out of your mouth and intentionally replace corrupt speech with holy speech.

Before speaking, pause and ask:

• Is it true?
• Is it gracious?
• Is it necessary?
• Will it build someone up?

Look for opportunities each day to speak truth, encouragement, kindness, compassion, and forgiveness to those around you.

The Holy Spirit is not only listening to your words—He is ready to help transform them into instruments of grace, life, and light.

Join the Conversation

Each week’s podcast also contains a question designed to encourage testimony. Testimony is vital to a believers life. We overcome by it (Rev. 12:11).

This week’s question is:

Question: Which area of speech challenges you the most—speaking truth, avoiding negative words, extending kindness, showing compassion, or walking in forgiveness?

Share: Has the Holy Spirit ever convicted you about words you spoke or words you failed to speak? What did He teach you through that experience?

Remember: The Holy Spirit is your Helper and Teacher. As you yield your tongue to Him, your words can become a source of grace, encouragement, healing, and life to those around you.

About Emery

Emery committed his life to the Lord Jesus Christ over 49 years ago and has served as both a full-time pastor and an itinerant minister. Both he and his wife Sharon of 45 years emphasize personal growth and development through the Word of God. The ministry of the Holy Spirit is both the focus and the hallmark of their mission. Read more about them here.

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Podcast Notes:

• Well, again welcome.
• Let’s pray.

Father God help us today to lift men with our words to have the right words to speak at the right moment. I thank you for the ministry of the Holy Spirit in all of these things in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The Holy Spirit Within You and the Power of Your Words

• Today, we have two verses of scriptures that will be our focus.
• First…

1 John 2:27 (NASB 2020) — 27 And as for you, the anointing which you received from Him remains in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you remain in Him.

• And then turn to Ephesians four.

Ephesians 4:30 (NASB 2020) — 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

The Spirit Within You Can Be Grieved

• In First John, the term ‘anointing’ is another description of the Holy Spirit at work within the believer.
• The Holy Spirit, who came to live in you when you said YES to Jesus, has many names that describe His function in a believer’s life.

John 14:16–17 (NASB 2020) — 16 “I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, so that He may be with you forever; 17 the Helper is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him; but you know Him because He remains with you and will be in you.

John 14:26 (NASB 2020) — 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and remind you of all that I said to you.

• Just from these two verses, the Holy Spirit is your helper, your truth teller, your teacher, and your faithful friend who reminds you.
• Here in 1 John 2:27, the Holy Spirit is the ‘anointing’ within you who teaches.
• There is both an ‘anointing’ that teaches—and an ‘anointing’ that empowers.

Acts 10:38 (NASB 2020) — 38 You know of Jesus of Nazareth, how God anointed Him with the Holy Spirit and with power, and how He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.

• So highlight the word ‘anointing’ in your thinking and in the second verse in Ephesians four focus on the word ‘grieve’—that is grieve not the Holy Spirit of God.
• And with that thought, here are the Definitions of the Day.
• So today is double—definition day.
• First definition: the word “anointing” carries the idea of oil being rubbed in or smeared upon someone.
• The idea is not a light touch—but oil being worked in, covering, saturating, and marking someone for a special purpose.
• Don’t let that get away from you—you are marked by God for a special purpose.
• The Greek word christos—or Christ—means “The Anointed One.”
• So when you read the words Jesus Christ in the Bible, you could understand it as “Jesus the Anointed One.”
• But through your relationship with Jesus, His anointing also rests upon and works within you by the Holy Spirit.
• So christos points both to the source of the anointing—Jesus—and to the believer who shares in His anointing.
• Certain ministers and Bible teachers summarize this idea in a memorable phrase: the Anointed One and His Anointing.
• The second definition, the word ‘grieve’ in Ephesians 4:30 is a verb and it means to cause pain, sorrow, grief, distress.¹
• This emotional dimension is vital to understand when living your life with the Greater One within.
• Grieving the Spirit involves causing Him emotional pain.
• This pain is caused by bad behavior.
• So the Holy Spirit, the Spirit who teaches you what you need to know must not be grieved.

The Smoke That Grieves the Spirit

• The Holy Spirit, the ultimate truth teller, is going to teach you how to walk in light.
• We talked about God is light in a previous podcast.
• What is walking in light?
• I’m glad you asked.

1 John 2:9–11 (ESV) — 9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

• Walking in the light is walking in divine love.
• Divine love is the God kind of love and it is way different than natural human love.
• Natural human love is infected with selfishness.
• The God of love is already inside of you—it’s in your spirit where the ‘anointing’ abides.

Romans 5:5 (ESV) — 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

• So He can and has poured love into your heart along with instruction on how to walk in it.
• Failure to love is walking in darkness.
• The anointing remains in you to teach you about the love walk.
• Failure to listen or failure to be sensitive to the gentle Holy Spirit results in actions immersed in darkness.
• These are actions that grieve the Holy Spirit.
• Now there are two things every believer should understand concerning the Holy Spirit.
• Do not grieve Him — Do not quench Him.

1 Thessalonians 5:19 (ESV) — 19 Do not quench the Spirit.

• What’s the difference between grieving and quenching?
• Grieving Him is connected to the fruit of the spirit.
• Quenching Him is connected to the move of the Spirit.
• Saying this another way.
• Grieving the Spirit happens where the fruit of the Spirit is undeveloped.
• Quenching the Spirit happens where the move of the Spirit is resisted.
• Today, we focus on not grieving the Holy Spirit of God.

Ephesians 4:30 (NASB 2020) — 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

• Actions that grieve the Holy Spirit are listed both before and after this verse.
• Lying, anger, giving place to demons, entire categories of wrong speech, sexual immorality, impurity, and covetousness are camped out around this verse.
• Think about a campfire at night.
• A fire gives light, warmth, visibility, and fellowship.
• But imagine people gathering around that fire constantly throwing wet leaves, trash, and filth into it.
• What happens to the fire?
• Trash affects fire—instead of clean, pure warmth and light, the atmosphere becomes polluted.
• That’s the picture surrounding Ephesians 4:30.
• The Holy Spirit is the light within the believer—but lying, anger, corrupt speech, bitterness, impurity, and selfishness pollute the atmosphere around His presence.
• The Spirit remains within you, a fact that should make you raise both hands and be thankful to God for His mercy.
• But your conduct can create smoke where there should be holy-light.
• Don’t let your flesh create smoke around the fire of God.

Cutting Off Corrupt Speech

• So, let’s look at some of the things that add debris to your fire.
• All around this passage in Ephesians 4:30—‘do not grieve the Holy Spirit’ are verbal sins.
• Look at how many of these are wrong uses of the tongue.

Ephesians 4:25 (NASB 2020) — 25 Therefore, ridding yourselves of falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, because we are parts of one another.

Ephesians 4:29 (NASB 2020) — 29 Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:31 (NASB 2020) — 31 All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice.

Ephesians 5:3–4 (NASB 2020) — 3 But sexual immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be mentioned among you, as is proper among saints; 4 and there must be no filthiness or foolish talk, or vulgar joking, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

Ephesians 5:6 (NASB 2020) — 6 See that no one deceives you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.

• Listen to this list that surrounds the phrase ‘do not grieve the Holy Spirit’: lying, unwholesome speech, bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, foolish talk, vulgar jokes, and empty words.
• Count them: ten references to corrupt communication.
• Every one of these is offensive to the Holy Spirit.
• Your mouth is your responsibility before God.
• There is a standard for godly talk.
• There is God-talk and flesh-talk.
• Holy Spirit-talk and devilish-talk.
• Words filled with light and life—not darkness and destruction.
• Hell’s language tears down—Heaven’s language builds up.
• But what exactly does the language of hell look like?
• Paul does not leave us guessing.

Waging War Against Corrupt Speech

• We need to make a once-and-for-all decision to strip away evil speech.

Ephesians 4:25 (NASB 2020) — 25 Therefore, ridding yourselves of falsehood…

• The phrase “ridding yourselves” comes from a Greek root that means strip off unwanted clothing.²
• This stripping off of unwanted words is decisive—a complete and deliberate break with flesh-driven talk.
• This is not a “just grow spiritually and it will slowly disappear with time” mindset.
• God does not tell us to slow-roll corrupt speech.
• He wants you to cut it off without compromise.
• No compromise—just the guillotine.
• Cut it off—strip it away.
• You should not negotiate with hell-inspired speech.

Matthew 11:12 (NASB 2020) — 12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has been treated violently, and violent men take it by force.

• Spiritual victory requires spiritual aggression against sin.
• Paul’s language against sin is decisive and forceful.
• Strip it off. Cut it down. Guillotine corrupt speech.
• Holy speech begins when flesh-talk loses its head.
• One of the greatest battlefields in your life is your tongue.
• It must be so because of what we know about the tongue.

James 3:6 (NASB 2020) — 6 And the tongue is a fire, the very world of unrighteousness; the tongue is set among our body’s parts as that which defiles the whole body and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell.

• Ask the Holy Spirit to bring your tongue under the control of the Spirit—not hell.

Psalm 141:3 (NASB 2020) — 3 Set a guard, LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.

Ten Forms of Corrupt Communication

• We’ve already listed the ten grievous forms of corrupt communication.
• Let’s take these one at a time so we understand what godly speech looks like—and what it must never become.
• Too often we read over these verses assuming we understand them.
• But we need to stop, look, and listen carefully.

Falsehood

• The first one, falsehood or lying, is obvious because it is nested within the Ten Commandments.
• The command sounds simple enough: do not lie.

Unwholesome Speech

• The next category of evil communication is unwholesome speech.
• What is unwholesome speech?
• The Greek word translated “unwholesome” means “rotten” or “foul,” originally referring to decaying fruit and vegetables.
• Rotten fruit is decayed, foul, and useless.
• Gossip, ridicule, insulting, or mocking speech all come under this heading³
• Many times our loved ones stand on the receiving end of these destructive words.

Bitterness

• Bitterness comes from a word meaning to cut, or to prick.
• We are talking sharp, cutting, emotional words that come from willfully allowing angry feelings to simmer within.⁴
• Bitterness is an angry volcanic eruption.
• Think about how these kinds of words are housed with the gentle Holy Spirit who is love.
• Oil and water come to mind.
• Angry eruptive words hurt, wound, and cut the hearer.
• The Word of God is the Sword of the Spirit.
• The word of bitterness is the sword of Satan.

Wrath

• Wrath comes close behind bitterness.
• The root means to well up, to boil.
• This wrath is an explosive manifestation of internal passion—anger that flares up quickly from a bitter heart.[4] Thoralf Gilbrant, “Θυμός,” in The New Testament Greek-English Dictionary (WORDsearch, 1991).]
• Wrath is bitterness on steroids.

Anger

• Anger follows closely behind wrath.
• Anger represents more of an abiding and settled habit of the mind, with the purpose of revenge.⁵
• Unlike the previous word ‘wrath’, which erupts suddenly, anger denotes a persistent, deep-seated indignation that smolders beneath the surface—a deliberate, sustained disposition rather than a momentary explosion.
• Anger that burns steadily like a smoldering fire ready to erupt, often accompanying bitterness and wrath⁶

Clamor

• Clamor is a type of speech that carries the sense of a loud, vocalized expression—the audible manifestation of inner turmoil. * Clamor represents uncontrolled shouting and loud outbursts that accompany anger.
• Heated arguments? — You’ve got it.
• Frustrated outbursts? — Now you have the idea.
• Clamor represents the brash self-absorption of an angry person who needs to make everyone hear their grievances.⁷

Slander

• Slander is the Greek word for blasphemy.
• The term fundamentally denotes “verbal abuse against someone which denotes the very worst type of slander”—destroying reputations through malicious speech and false reports.
• Jesus was on the wrong end of this type of evil speech on many occasions.

Empty Words

• Now we come to the tenth category of words that are offensive to the Holy Spirit, empty words.
• Empty words are speech without truth, faith, or substance.
• They are words laced with unbelief.
• Have you heard someone try to justify immoral behavior?
• Congratulations, you have just become the recipient of empty words.
• All words that rationalize away sin as not serious fall into this category.
• That’s just how I am.”
• “Nobody’s perfect.”
• “Everybody struggles with something.”
• “I’m only human.”
• “God understands.”
• “I didn’t mean it.”
• “They made me do it.”
• “If you knew what they did to me…”
• The list of excuses is as long as you can imagine.
• Behind every excuse for sin is the ancient whisper of the serpent: “Yea, has God said?”
• Sin, your sin, sent Jesus to the Cross.
• The penalty was paid by the precious Blood of Jesus.
• Therefore any language that soft-pedals sin is empty.
• Expanding this further, empty words are all words spoken in unbelief.
• Unbelief in God’s promises produces nothing more than wind.
• One of the hardest sins for man to admit is unbelief.
• It’s one of mankind’s greatest problems.
• When the promises of God are not realized, men often blame God.
• When the wheels come off spiritually, who do you look at?
• Rather than asking, “Did I believe? Did I obey? Did I abide? Did I meet the conditions of the promise?”
• Men often accuse God’s Word of failure.
• In reality, it’s faith-filled words that lead the heart out of defeat and into victory.

Holy Speech that Pleases the Holy Spirit

• The Holy Spirit not only shows us what corrupt speech looks like—He also shows us what holy speech looks like.
• He not only tells us what to remove from our mouths—He also tells us what to put into them.
• These five forms of holy speech overpower anything the enemy has in his arsenal: truth, edification, kindness, compassion, and forgiveness.
• The language of the Spirit defeats the language of hell every time.

Speaking Truth

Ephesians 4:25 (NASB 2020) — 25 Therefore, ridding yourselves of falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, because we are parts of one another.

• What a life-changing reason to speak the truth: because we are parts of one another.
• The born-again believer is part of a body of believers unified by the Holy Spirit.
• To lie to another Jesus follower is in reality hurting yourself.
• Saying this another way: lying to a brother or sister in Christ, is lying to yourself.
• Relationships suffer because deception destroys trust.
• What affects one affects all in this Body of Christ.

Edification

Ephesians 4:29 (NASB 2020) — 29 Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

• Edification means to build up.
• We have the tell-tale sign that a conversation is edifying—that it imparts the grace of God.
• What does grace-filled speech actually sound like?

Colossians 4:6 (NASB 2020) — 6 Your speech must always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.

• The phrase ‘seasoned with salt’ is a word picture.
• Salt was in the first century a preservative for meat.
• If you didn’t season with salt, meat would rot, become corrupted, and decay.
• The foul smell associated with rotten meat would make one cringe.
• Condemning words are that way.
• Put-down speech is foul speech.
• They do not minister grace.
• Grace forgives, redeems, and lifts people upward.
• Grace is how Jesus came to save us and lift us.
• God so loved the world that He gave.
• You so love the world that you speak in kindness and not in tones of arrogance.
• There is a tremendous need to lift the human spirit.
• So many are walking with their heads bowed down with the world’s pressures.
• People need love—and words filled with grace.

Proverbs 25:11 (NASB 2020) — 11 Like apples of gold in settings of silver, Is a word spoken at the proper time.

• Help people grow.
• Frame your words to construct not destruct.
• That’s what’s pleasing to the Holy Spirit.
• Hell’s language tears down—Heaven’s language builds up.

Kindness

Ephesians 4:32 (NASB 2020) — 32 Be kind to one another,

• Kindness meant several things in the ancient world.
• The word implies not just attitude, but goodness shown in helpful action.⁸
• Kindness means generous, gracious, wanting to do good for others.
• Words are your tool of choice for doing good.
• And with that thought, here is the Quote of the Day.

When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am older, I admire kind people. — Rabbi Milton Steinberg

• Be kind to one another.

Compassionate

Ephesians 4:32 (NASB 2020) — 32 Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

• The Greek word originally was a medical term for intestines or bowels that gradually shifted to mean ‘affection and tender mercies.’
• Compassion is love coming from the deepest parts of your insides for others.
• Compassion is not sympathy.
• Sympathy often stops at tender words. Compassion moves into tender action.
• Compassion does something.

Mark 1:40–42 (NASB 2020) — 40 And a man with leprosy came to Jesus, imploring Him and kneeling down, and saying to Him, “If You are willing, You can make me clean.” 41 Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out with His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.” 42 And immediately the leprosy left him, and he was cleansed.

• Jesus was regularly moved to action because of His inward feelings for mankind ravaged with sin and sickness.
• The Jesus follower should imitate Jesus in this same way.
• Look and love—feel and act.
• That’s the Jesus way.
• Hell’s language tears down—Heaven’s language builds up.

Forgiving

Ephesians 4:32 (NASB 2020) — 32… forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

• Lastly, holy speech that pleases instead of grieves the Holy Spirit is flooded with forgiveness.
• ‘I love you’—‘I appreciate you’— and ‘I forgive you’ are phrases that should top your vocabulary list.
• You understand that forgiveness is more than saying the words “I’m sorry.”
• Forgiveness that the Holy Spirit stresses is being gracious to people who have wronged you.
• Be quick to forgive.
• Unforgiveness will hinder your faith.
• If you wonder why your prayers aren’t working, this is the first place to look.

Mark 11:24–26 (NASB 2020) — 24 Therefore, I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted to you. 25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you for your offenses. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your offenses.”

• Holding things against others is unbecoming for any child of God.
• Treat people as you wish to be treated.
• That’s the Jesus way and life in the Spirit.

Putting God’s Word Into Action

• Your words are not small things to God.
• The Holy Spirit lives within you, and the language flowing out of your mouth either cooperates with Heaven or with hell.
• Every conversation is an opportunity to build up or tear down.
• Your words are not small things to God.
• Make a decisive break with corrupt speech.
• Do not tolerate bitterness, sarcasm, unbelief, anger, complaining, exaggeration, filthy talk, or words that pollute the atmosphere around God’s presence.
• Strip them away without compromise.
• Intentionally replace them with truth, grace, compassion, kindness, encouragement, and forgiveness.
• Ask the Holy Spirit to place a guard over your mouth and bring your tongue under the control of the Spirit—not hell.
• Hell’s language tears down—Heaven’s language builds up.
• If this teaching strengthened your walk with God, continue growing in the Word with future episodes of Light on Life at emeryhorvath.com.
• Explore hundreds of Bible teachings designed to help you walk in truth, live by faith, and grow sensitive to the Holy Spirit.
• Hell’s language tears down—Heaven’s language builds up.
• Let your words reflect the life and light of Jesus Christ.

Now Father God, we commit today to be doers of your Word — speak grace instead of doubt. Help us to lift people with our words and your life pouring through us. We do not want to be a fountain that puts put both sweet water and polluted water. Help us today—show us today—speak to us today in Jesus’ Name—Amen.

• How to Stop Grieving the Holy Spirit Through Your Words.
• You guys have a great God-week and we will see you next time for another edition of Light On Life.

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